Brian's Ramblings

Next Generation Leader

2009-09-08T16:21:00.004-04:00

Andy Stanley wrote an amazing book called Next Generation Leader. In it, there are 5 sections that are meant to help the leaders of the up and coming generation to go further, faster. I was encouraged to read this book to help me along my journey of Code-4 Ministries. I was not able to find the book still in any book stores. Preston Porter of Revolution Church was nice enough to let me borrow it. I think that he has forgotten about it though! :)

So basically , the book is broke down into 5 sections: Competence, Courage, Clarity, Coaching, and Character. This is a baptist preacher's dream come true! 5 points, each one starting with the same letter. They could preach on that all day long!

My main goal here is to explain what I have taken away from my time in this book. It's a lot harder than it sounds. I wish that I could quote every word on every page, but that would be plagiarism. I'll do my best to summarize! It will try to break this up into 5 different posts.

Here's the first one:

C #1: Competence. The main take away from this chapter is that you need people around you to handle the things that you aren't good at. Being a leader isn't about being good at everything. You need to make know what you aren't good at and then delegate those things to people who are. The less you do, the more you can accomplish! Andy Stanley breaks down the 5 obstacles that most leaders face.

1. The quest for balance. No leader can do everything. Most every leader that you see is focused on one thing. It's a noble quest, but ultimately an unfruitful one!

2. Failure to distinguish between authority and competence. Every leader has authority over areas in which they have no competence! One quote from this section is "There are things that you are responsible for that you should keep your nose out of."

3. Inability to distinguish between competencies and non-competencies. Successful leaders tend to assume that their core competencies are broader than they actually are. "When you acknowledge your weaknesses to the rest of your team, it is never new information."

4. Guilt. "Some leaders do not play to their strengths because they feel guilty delegating their weaknesses." That is a hard one for me to relate to because I rarely ever feel guilty delegating responsibility.

5. Unwillingness to develop other leaders. "Leadership is about multiplying your efforts, which automatically multiplies your results." I think that this is more a fear of job security more than it is about not knowing.

The rest of this section deals heavily with knowing what you're good at and doing that one thing well! This was a real eye opener for me, as it dug right down to the core of my body. The Marine Corps taught me how to be a leader, but I failed to ever think about bringing those leadership qualities to my ministry. That will not happen again.

2 Months Old and Already Seeing A Win!

2009-08-27T20:04:00.002-04:00

This story was relayed to me by a friend who is trying to get back into ministry:

"Today I was at my counselor's office and she suggested that I look into police ministry. She told me that about 80% of all police marriages end in divorce. (That is an accurate percentage.) She told me that she meets with a police officer who told her about this guy in Canton, Ga who has started a police ministry and wants to get in touch with him to learn about starting his own. She told me that she thought the name was Code-4 Ministries or something like that. I told her that I knew the guy who started it and that we talked on a regular basis."

There are a few things that make this story even more powerful:

1. I've never met this counselor!

2. I've never met the officer!

3. The counselor is two counties away!

4. The officer doesn't even police in my county!

5. She got the name right!

6. The officer wants to start his own ministry!

7. This ministry is only 2 months old!

8. All of my marketing is by word of mouth and social media!

9. She knew the damage that police do in a marriage!

10. This isn't happening because of me!

Like I said in #7; this ministry is only 2 months old!!! It already extends beyond county lines and professional lines! But you know what the best thing of all is? I can't take credit for any of it! This is bigger than something natural. It's SUPER-natural! This is all the work of GOD. I could try to spin it to make me look good, but what's the point? Give credit where credit is due! Listen, this is one of those things that you cannot explain! When I sent out almost 200 event invites over Facebook and only get 15 commitments, how do you say that it is my doing?

Even better, this is right on target with the vision for this ministry! Now, let's give credit where credit is due:

God, keep on advancing this ministry until it is too big for anyone to think that the credit belongs to a person!

To Hell with you Satan

2009-08-12T23:10:00.003-04:00

Dear Satan,

I am here to tell you right now, you WILL NOT win! This changes nothing. All this is doing is adding to the story of my life. It's just making it harder to turn my back on God. For your information, that baby was not forming properly. It had spinal fluid in it's neck and brain. The skull hadn't formed properly and the chance for survival was bad anyway. You DO NOT dictate my actions or my thoughts anymore. That has all ended. You have lost. God created the human body to counteract such defects. You suck again! Go back to Hell where you belong. You have no place here in my life or in my wife's for that matter. I AM the spiritual leader in my household and I WILL NOT allow you to wreck our lives. In case you forgot, I don't fight you with the weapons of this world. 2 Corinthians 10:4 says that I do not fight with the weapons of this world. So piss off!!! You have forgotten that God was working in this long before you were, and all of those shitty thoughts that you have given me have fallen on deaf ears.

You think that because I have entered into ministry that you will make me fall? You are WRONG! I am not fighting this fight by myself. In case you have forgotten, God kicked your sorry ass out of heaven just the same as I'm kicking your sorry ass out of my life right now! So go think of another family to attack! I've built up the walls around my family like the Great Wall of China, bitch! This isn't the time, and this isn't the place. You'll see me again, fighting along side Jesus, just as I am right now. Go away and try again some other time. You lose. Get used to the feeling!

To Hell with you Satan,

Brian Cain

Pheonix from the fire.

2009-06-07T15:34:00.003-04:00

Gary Lamb is a lot of things to me. He's a leader, an inspiration, and a brother in Christ. After the recent happenings in his life, I think that everyone is rushing to a judgement about him. I am NOT condoning the things that he has done! Don't think that's the case. I am just showing you what he means to me. Gary Lamb's ministry has saved my marriage. He provided a place that was nurturing to a great relationship. I volunteered as his personal security for 3 years. I trusted him and he trusted me, with his life. I know the man on a deeper level than most ever will. I know that he is a little rough around the edges. I know that he is rude and unabashed. I know because I have seen him in his green room. With all of the bickering and fighting people that I had to keep out of his green room, it's no wonder he was that way. FIX ME! HELP ME! DO THIS FOR ME! His past examples have set the standard for my police ministry. Without Gary's examples and teachings, I wouldn't be the person that I am today!

Now he is a fallen man and there are people waiting at every corner to kick dirt in his face. Ready to pass judgement on a man. But it seems strange that Gary has become the exact person that Revolution Church exists to reach! I believe it's called coming "Full Circle". Just as we would never turn away a hurting stranger, we must not turn our backs on Gary. He needs the help and acceptance of those who know him; the people who helped build Revolution Church! So stop it! Stop making the phone calls, telling people about what he did. Stop feeding into the lies and gossip about a hurting man! At least he was bold enough to call his own sin! You're a gossip but will justify it every way that you can. So stop it! We need to hold on to somethings:

1. Revolution Church isn't the house that Gary built. It is God's church and it will continue to be so no matter who leads it.

2. What Gary has done for us can not be undone unless we let it be so.

3. The leadership at Revolution isn't "new". Those leaders have been there all along. So show them how much you support them.

I hope that this will not get misconstrued. I am not saying that what he did was OK. He is being and should be held accountable for what he did. But join me in showing my support and forgiveness for a man who has touched our hearts.

What My Brother Didn't Know

2009-05-04T21:47:00.003-04:00

Well to those of you who don't know, my brother Bill crossed over the line of faith and prayed for Jesus to come into his life. I owe all of the thanks to the hardcore preaching of Gary Lamb and the volunteers and staff of Revolution Church for making him feel comfortable enough to do that. This is a very big step for him. He's been coming to church for about 3 months, off and on. But as I was reflecting about what happened and how it happened, I couldn't get past the fact that he didn't even know that things were happening so that he could meet Jesus. So, this is what my brother didn't know:

1. I was praying for him. Just before Gary gave the invitation, I prayed to God that he would soften my brother's heart just enough so that Gary's words would be received.

2. His wife was praying for him. She has been praying for him for a long time now. I know that she thought that this day would never come.

3. It is because of people like him that I serve at Revolution. He was far from God, and didn't like church. I know that because he and I are very alike in many ways. I grew disillusioned from church until I saw that church could be fun and engaging. I make a conscious effort to be an ambassador for Revolution. I have a lot invested in that church, but it's not about me. It's about people like my brother.

4. We do church every week for people like him. I don't think he knows why he feels so comfortable at Revolution. I think that it kind of scared him that he could enjoy being at church. That's why I buy into the vision of Revolution, I have seen it change people's lives.

5. He wouldn't have seen our father when he died. For those of you who don't know, my father died in October from brain cancer caused by Agent Orange disease. Just before he fell ill, my father accepted Jesus into his life and was baptized. He and I were saved and baptized at the same church, 12 years apart. If my brother had never took the step that he took Sunday, he would not have been able to spend eternity with our father.

6. I cried when I felt his hand raise in the air. Even as I write this, tears come to my eyes because of the joy that I feel when I think that we get to spend eternity together.

There are behind the scenes efforts that make us feel comfortable to make a public declaration for Christ. And even though my brother will probably never read this blog, I still want to tell him, "Welcome to the family."

Managing a Movement

2009-04-01T22:43:00.005-04:00

So, you think that you want to be part of a movement of God huh? Acts 2:41 says "Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day." 3 Thousand people?!? Most churches aren't equipped to handle 3 hundred people. You cannot manage a move of God! All you can do is stand back, and let it be what is is. if God is blessing your church and you want it to continue, get out of the freaking way!!! If we aren't actively helping God, then we are hindering him. People who hinder God get pushed to the side and left out of the movement. Get out of the way, and then do your best to play catch up when the movement is over. It's like a mudslide! You can't do anything to stop it when it's happening, all you can do is clean up afterwards.

The wonderful thing about a movement of God is that there is no cleanup! Is there? Maybe we should camp out here for a while. You think that 3 thousand more people coming to your church won't make for a mess, you are dead wrong. You automatically have to add more services or get a bigger place. More services means more preaching, more tweaking, more, well, everything! Ever tried to tweak something major in between services? I watch it happen all the time and let me tell you, if you don't have everyone on board, then it gets horrible. Almost like a train wreck. You have to start dealing with those 3 thousand people's issues, hurts, habits, and hangups. You now have the responsibility of teaching 3000 people to feed themselves from the Word of God.

You have more kids to worry about now. What are you going to do with all of those kids? Are you just providing a babysitting service, are you letting them in the "Big People's" service? How are you improving these children's spiritual lives? Kids are another thing that you can't half-way manage. You have to plan for them.

The list of things goes on and on. Are you ready to take on a movement of God? No? Well just think about this: If God is blessing you, he is providing a way for you too. Bring on the movement!

Renewed Vision

2009-03-29T19:38:00.003-04:00

I had a great conversation with Travis Yates of Ten 4 Ministries. That conversation got me fired up about bringing the Gospel to Police Officers. He inspired me to double my efforts. Basically, I was asked these questions"

1) Would I be willing to help him collect bullet proof vests for their ministry Armor of God. What a privilege to be able to help them provide necessary equipment for officers who need it. Blows me away!

2) Would I be willing to take a 4 day mission trip to Guatemala to teach their officers about narcotics? Uhhhh...... what do you say to that. HELL YEAH comes to mind! I have to raise my own funds to go, but man, that opportunity is once in a lifetime and one in a million. I am speechless that I would be asked to do such a thing.

The best part is, all of these people will be introduced to the Gospel. Advancing the Kingdom and being able to participate in these unique things is what makes me FREAKING PUMPED about being a Christian.

A Move of God is MESSY!

2009-03-16T00:42:00.003-04:00

At Unleash, Senior Pastor Perry Noble said this,"A move of God is messy!"

When God moves, people are brought to him. The people who come are not of the clean cut, white collar variety. They are the people who need God. Now, I'm not saying that people who need God look a certain way, I am just suggesting that we need to re-think the way that we see lost people. Even more, we need to re-think the way that we see Christians!

Hidey-Ho Neighborino! I'll bet if you ask people what their idea of a Christian is, you'll get a description that closely resembles Ned Flanders. I can just hear the accusations of sweater vests running through my head. But I can tell you this, the only sweater vests that I see at my church are visitors. People come to Revolution Church thinking that you need to be dressed a certain way. Imaging their horror, or relief, when they see skulls and flip-flops everywhere they look. You see, Christians are portrayed by the media to be soft. It will always remain that way until Christians fight for their image and the way that they are perceived. By the way, Christians should not be viewed as being "safe."

Being safe was never part of God's plan. If He was going to keep anyone safe, He would have kept Jesus safe. Following God's will and plan cost Jesus his life. Even the people who were the closest to Jesus were in constant danger. Some of them were killed and some where put in prison. You need to kill this misconception that being a christian is safe. It is dangerous and it is MESSY!

Christians themselves are MESSY! At any given time at my church, I am in the presence of crack addicts, meth addicts, porn addicts, spouse abusers, thieves, alcohol abusers, the list goes on and on. But these people are trying to put their pasts behind them and discover what God has planned for their lives. No that is MESSY! Just imagine, people can stop seeing you as Ned Flanders and start seeing you for what you really are, a big MESSY God loving Christian!

Are we willing to change?

2009-03-14T01:55:00.001-04:00

We were asked three questions at the Unleash conference that seemed insignificant at first, but the more that I thought about them, the more that God poured into my heart the earth shattering results that could happen if these questions were answered. There is no limit to what we could achieve in answering these questions. I will address the first question.

Question 1: Are we willing to embrace change?

The Biblical reference for this question was illustrated by using 2 Kings 7:3-4. It says, “There were four men with a skin disease at the entrance to the city gate. They said to each other, ‘Why do we sit here until we die?’ There is no food in the city. So if we go into the city, we will die there. If we stay here, we will die. So let’s go to the Aramean camp. If they let us live, we will live. If they kill us, we die.’”

Sometimes we must be willing to do something that everyone else thinks is crazy. Maybe that something is so stupidly simple, you can’t believe that it is that simple. Like doing church for the un-churched. Duh!?! If your business is God, the vast majority of your customers are on the outside. Like i-pods. Their marketing is targeted towards people who don’t have them. It only makes sense. What simple (read crazy) idea has God called you to do?

The biggest barrier to change is trust. I bet you thought I was going to say fear! But boil down fear to its root and you will find that it’s a trust issue. For instance, say you have a fear of snakes. The reason that you fear snakes is because you don’t trust them to NOT hurt you. Even though, I’ll bet that 99.9% of people with a fear of snakes have never even been confronted by one, let alone bitten. It is from years of misunderstanding and fraudulent horror stories that we perceive snakes as something to be feared. But if we took the time to understand and immerse ourselves in to the world of snakes, then that fear would disappear.

The last sentence of verse 3 reads, “Why do we sit here until we die?” Change comes out of necessity. These men knew that they needed to do something different. They also knew that if they didn’t change what they were doing, they wouldn’t get a better result. If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get the same results.

The bottom line is this: You have to trust the vision or idea that God has given you. You trust him with your eternal salvation, what’s more important than that?

Unleash

2009-03-13T15:40:00.002-04:00

I will be blogging a series of thoughts and contemplations about what I was taught at the Unleash confrence. I have several pages of notes, so I will kick this off.

The first thing that I wrote down as a passage of the Bible, Matthew 16:18 which says, "And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it."

Now going beyond what you see at first, which is that God tells Peter that he will recieve God's blessing, you have to start looking at WHAT God is saying, as in the syntax. God says the HE will build HIS church. WE are not building HIS church, and HE is not building OUR church. No matter how hard we try to build His church, only God can build His church. If "your" church is doing well, it is because you have made it about Him. And as long as the church is about God, not even the devil himself will be able to shut it down.

I think we need to take a look around and see if "our" church is really pleasing God. One thing that Perry Noble hit on was that we put up signs and plaques for people who have contributed to the church in some way (i.e. bought a pew, a window, painted the doors, and the like). Hasn't God called us to do that anyway? Why do some churches feel the need to make it a popularity contest and make it seem that one family is more important than the other? It that what God did?

And here's one random thought from Unleash: Wasn't it the religious people of the day that killed Jesus? Just saying!

Watch out for that right hook!

2009-03-03T02:05:00.002-05:00

I was sitting at work the other night, watching a computer screen and reading Tony Morgan's new book, "Killing Cockroaches" when I had 2 serious conviction come over me. I thought I was going to throw up. That is how strong these were. Those thoughts were: "Why do I volunteer at my church?" and "Is my leadership what it should be?" I'll unpack these ideas one at a time.

1st Up: "Why do I volunteer?"

Now listen, I love volunteering at my church!!! The statement I am trying to make here is, "What is the motivation behind my service?" Am I motivated by what God has told me I should do, or am I motivated out of personal gratification? Serving does make me feel better about myself, but why does it? At first I was having a terrible thought, "I volunteer because I was others to see me volunteering." But the more I thought about that, the more I realized that I am probably the most unrecognized volunteer at my church. A lot of people see me, but they do not know how I am serving. I started a security team for Revolution Church that grew from 2 people to 20 people in 2 years. I cast a vision for that team and thankfully, people bought into that vision and helped me accomplish what I had set out to do. Another point of pride for me is that 2 of the first volunteers that I started with are still volunteering on the team.

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 9:7 that, "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." Volunteering is a way to give back to the church, but I think that you must do it happily because that is what is most pleasing to God. So I think that my heart is in the right place when it comes to Volunteering.

Next up: "Is my leadership what it should be?"

This one is the one that I am having the most problems with. I have been exposed to leadership principles my entire adult life. I've spend my entire adult life carrying a gun and a badge. During that time, I had the great honor of serving my country in the United States Marine Corps. There are 11 Leadership Principles and 14 Leadership Traits that are ingrained in our heads during our service. They are meant to challenge and stretch us to be functional and outstanding leaders. I try every day to function within these guidelines to develop myself as a functional leader. I heard, and took to heart, a quote from Tim May, Revolution Church's Executive Pastor. He said, "If you can lead volunteers, you can lead anyone." That has stuck with me and I imagine that I will remember that for the rest of my life.

Have I been an effective leader? I don't know. And not knowing is that part that stresses me. I guess that only time will tell, but I feel confident that I can continue to improve in this area of my life. I have come to learn these few things:

1. Leadership is not about yourself.
2. You must be in the trenches if you want the respect of those you lead.
3. People don't care what you know until they know that you care.
4. You will go farther with people's hearts than you will with their hands.
5. Leading is not easy, or popular for that matter.

But this is just what I have been experiencing. Feel free to leave some comments and share your thoughts.

Why me?

2008-11-26T11:23:00.006-05:00

Ok, I have been working on something big for the past couple of months and I decided that now is the time to pursue it. I don't know if will work, but I figured that there is a need, and I can provide a solution. So here it is:

I am starting a ministry dedicated to helping Police Officers. It is called Code-4 Ministries. I have talked with several officers about it and have gotten rave reviews. There is definitely a need for this ministry, as this line of work produces one of the highest rates of suicide, alcoholism, and divorce. All of these are brought on by the high level of stress that cops endure on a daily basis. Even when they are not on duty, they still act and think like cops. Some officers cannot leave their work at work and that puts stress on their home lives. I have found that most officers, although provided with the opportunity to speak with a Chaplain, will not because of one simple reason. Most Police Chaplains are not cops. The Law Enforcement community is virtually impossible to break into if you are not a cop yourself. That is why this ministry had to be done by a police officer. Cops trust cops. That's the bottom line.

Believe it or not, most cops think that they are going to heaven just because of their job. They have never entered into a relationship with Jesus Christ. The reason that they don't know any better is because an alarming number of police officers have never set foot into a church. They value their weekends and do not want to "clutter" their free time.

My vision is this: To provide an environment where police officers can come together to worship and learn how the bible applies to them.

I truly believe that this ministry will help the officers that it reaches.

No More Hero

2008-10-20T20:39:00.007-04:00

Everyone has a hero. Some are baseball stars and some are movie stars, but not mine. Mine was never in a movie and he never hit a game winning home run. Mine never was on a trading card or in the spotlight. My hero wasn't even bold enough to dream that big. My hero is my father.

My hero was born in Atlanta, Georgia on William Street. Yep, the same one that you see when you ride down I-75 south just before the huge turn in the road as you come into the city. His father was not yet a WW II veteran, but soon would be. His father fought in Korean, and from my understanding was at the Frozen Chosen Reservoir. The only childhood story I remember my father telling of himself was when he stowed away in the back of Pa's cab. He said that Pa gave him one of the worst spankings he could remember.

My hero had typical teenage years with alot of drinking and fighting and women. He told me several stories about his teenage years and early adulthood. Several of them involve my uncles and some type of alcohol. His favorite story to tell was when he would drag race his 1956 Chevy in Dallas, Ga at the old drag strip. He had some type of transmission where he didn't have to shift from 3rd gear to 4th gear.

My hero married his first wife and had two sons, Alan and Mike. When the boys were still very small, my father and his first wife divorced. A few weeks later, my father was drafted into service to the United States Army.

My hero was branded a murderer and a baby killer by the people of this country. The very same people whom he was drafted into service to fight for, were the same people who mistreated him when he got back home. He never told me of the bad things that he saw while he was in Vietnam, but I could tell in his eyes that he relived them every day. He did however, tell me of a time when he and his Commanding Officer, a man whom he had wisely befriended, went to Amsterdam for R&R. He hooked the CO up with a few women and his life in Vietnam got a whole lot easier. My father served his tour in Vietnam and was was shipped back to the States to Fort Drum, NY. He applied for a civilian job working on base, but was turned down. He found out that he was turned down for someone with less experience. He told the employer that he just got back from Vietnam and didn't have job. The employer told him, "Well, you came back didn't you?" My hero was even turned away by the very people who were supposed to help him. In a bar in Upstate NY is where my hero met his 2nd wife.

My hero entered into his 2nd marriage and had 2 more boys, Billy Jr and Me. I don't remember must of their time together. I can remember things that, at the time, seemed like they weren't right but I just didn't know why. The memories of Vietnam were diffictult for my father to get a handle on. Now I know why he was the way that he was. My father drank alot. I mean alot. I don't have a single early memory without a beer in it. He drank alot. I have some memories of him slamming a chair into the cabinets and refrigerator. I remember sleeping on the couch one day and someone threw an ashtray and it broke over the couch and peices of ashtray and cigarette butts covered me. I remember when my mother left my father and we had to be hidden at my aunt's house. I remember my father going into rehab and cleaning up so that he could see us kids again. I remember another time when my father told me to pack my bags, he was leaving and I was leaving with him. I sat in the bedroom with my brother and told him goodbye. We cried together and I left with my father to stay in a motel for a couple of days. Their marriage ended when my grandfather was killed in a farming accident. They tried to keep it together for us kids, but we were just miserable.

I moved to Georgia when I was 11 years old. I lived in a one bedroom apartment with my father. I slept on the couch and our dog Jack would sleep with me. My father was always working and tried his best to give me everything that I wanted. He was still drinking, but that never made us go without food. I had been in Georgia for a few years when Granny and Pa died. They were dad's mother and father. They died within a few months of each other, so the pain must have been horrible for my father. I never saw him shed one tear! He held it all together for everyone else. He did his grieving in private.

I have several great memories of the early years in Georgia. We went to hunting camp several times. He played doctor one day when I flipped a 4-wheeler and gave myself a concussion. He was so happy when my brother decided to move down here. He finally had all of his boys in one place. It was the happiest he had been in a long time. I eventually grew up and joined the Marine Corps. I was waiting to go to boot camp when 9-11 happened, and he told me that I would be going to war. He did not want me to see the things that he saw. I was too stubborn and on October 20th, 2001 I left for Parris Island, SC. The next time I saw my father was when I graduated boot camp. It was the happiest day of my life. On January 25, 2008 I shook my father's hand, not just as his son, but as his brother. His brother in service. It was the happiest day of my life.

My hero then entered into his 3rd, and last, marriage. He had finally found the woman of his dreams, even though he was now 57 years old. He inherited 5 more children. He was just as much a father to his step-children, most of which were grown with their own kids, as he was to his real kids. They loved him like he was their only father.

I remember coming home a couple of times during my 4 years, but I'll never forget the trip home to see my father undergo surgery and chemo-therapy. I had gotten a telephone call from my father and he told me that he had some bad news. He had colon cancer. They thought the had found it in time, but they didn't know. He eventually beat that cancer, but a few short years later, he announced that he had lung cancer. He had a lobe of his lung removed, and more chemo-therapy. During all of this, you would have never known that anything was wrong with him. He never got sick, he never complained, and he never asked for any help. And on top of all this, one of my father's brothers died in North Carolina. So he had the trip to the funeral, cancer and all.

Just 5 months ago, my hero called all of his loved ones together to give his last announcement of bad news. The doctors had found 5 spots of cancer on his brain. It was not operable. This would be the cancer that killed him. He was now 100% disabled from the V.A. and did not have to work. The official reason, Agent Orange Disease. My hero was a hero until the very end. He never complained about anything, not once. He never asked for any help, even though he was no longer capable of moving himself anymore. If he wanted to go to bed from his chair, he had a lift that we had to use. He was finally bed-ridden about two weeks before he died. Just moving hurt him so bad, that he couldn't leave his room. I stopped by almost daily to talk with him and even went hunting with him. He hunted from his bed while I was in the woods. Two days before he died, I vistited him and he did not wake up very long. He told me hey and he loved me. I told him the same. That was the last words that we would ever speak to each other. I kissed him on the head and told him I would see him on Saturday.

I got a call from his wife Saturday morning saying that I needed to come to the house. My father wasn't breathing well and the hospice nurse was on her way. I made it there and realized immediately that he would not make it much longer. I called all of my brothers and told them that they needed to get there as fast as they could. Two of them were out of town and did not make it there in time. I kissed my father on the head and went outside and waited for him to die. At 10:50 am on Saturday, October 4, 2008 my hero, Billy Wayne Cain Sr., died of complication from brain cancer at the age of 64.

My hero was buried with full military honors at the Gerogia National Cemetary on Knox Bridge Hwy. Taps was played, a 21 gun salute was provided, and doves were released to honor my hero. You see, when you die, you are no longer a baby killer and a murderer. You are a hero. And my hero is located in section 1, row 16, stone #1681.

Update on What Happened!!

2008-09-25T18:28:00.002-04:00

The offending party has apologized and said that what happened was innapropriate, out of character, and unwarranted. He said that he was sorry that I was offended and he should be more sensative, even though he doesn't have religious views. His apology holds alot of water with me and he has gained back some respect from me. We talked for about 20 minutes and alot of bridges were repaired.

Did that really just happen

2008-09-24T10:18:00.004-04:00

Ok, I will try to be as vague as possible so these people cannot be identified, but I have to tell you this story:

I was walking in the building where I work and I saw two other co-workers walking down the hall. The walls were being repainted so everything was in the middle of the hallway. One of the co-workers, we will call him Jack, saw a Bible laying on a credenza. He asked the other co-worker, we will call him Greg, "What, is this the kind of place where we just leave Bible's out all over the place?" At first I thought he was kidding but then Jack said, "Throw that shit away!" I could not believe what happened next. Greg said, "I don't throw away Bibles." Jack then grabbed the Bible and actually said, " Give it here, I'll do it. I don't read fiction anyway." And then he threw it in the trash with a loud thump. I tought that I heard Greg pull it out of the trash so I left without confronting Jack, because he is a supervisor.

Something started nagging me after a few minutes, so I went and looked in the trash can and sure enough, there was the Bible, still in the trash. I picked up the Bible and returned it to it's owner. I then confronted Greg about his cowardice. There was a boss-man there who spoke with Jack about his actions and how they were inappropriate and offensive.

With all that being said, that Bible is someone's property. You can't just throw away someone's stuff because you don't like it. If I saw a book that I had never read, by an Author I didn't know, I don't think that I could force myself to get that angry. What are your thoughts?

What's Happening?

2008-08-25T20:47:00.008-04:00

It's been a while since my last post and I have bunches of new tidbits to share with you. My family and I took a stay-cation and visited things of interest that were within 1 hour's driving time.

First it was Helen, Ga. We floated the Chattahoochie river for 1 hour. That wasn't too exciting as the river was down. I mean way down. We had to walk a good bit of the trip. My son enjoyed the "waterfalls" that he went over. The coolest thing that he did was he asked me, "Daddy, who owns that orange car?" As I looked, I found a parking space next to the orange car and he wanted to get his picture taken next to it.

The next day held a wonderful trip to Amicalola Falls State Park. I have been there once before, but I never had been on the stair case that went from the bottom to the top. In case you are wondering:

And yes, it was very strenuous with a 4 year old on your shoulders. But the pictures that we took were well worth the effort.

Next on the list was a trip to Zoo Atlanta. I think this is where it was well worth every penny. It cost us $50.00 just to see the zoo, but my son had the time of his life. We took many pictures, but none of them are worth posting here. You have seen pictures of animals before.

Our last trip was to Fort Mountain State Park. Fort Mountain is between Ellijay and Chatsworth and is well known for it's mysterious rock wall. No one is sure what the wall is for or who built it, but the most commonly accepted myth is that is was built by Native Americans who were trying to fend off any invading tribes. Also on the park is a fire-tower that was built by the Civilian Conservation Corps. Once you visit those two attractions, there is an observation deck that overlooks a town below. You are about 2800 feet above the town so the view is a little breathtaking.

All in all, the stay-cation was very eye opening. There are many things that God has left on earth for us to discover. We never thought that there was anything to do around our area. But all of these trips were less that an hour drive time and we only found them because we acted like tourists to our own home.

Update on my quest.

2008-08-17T00:18:00.002-04:00

Alright, I have been doing good about reading my bible every day. I am on track and posting to http://bccain.livejournal.com almost daily. I have found some things very interesting. As I do more things that God tells me to, I find that I receive more blessings. I have found myself coming up short on money due to a restructuring of my HR department, and amazingly enough, God has provided. I cannot wait until I write my next tithe check. Man, God is awesome. Everyone's prayers are greatly appreciated as I continue my walk through God's Word.

The Journey That Should Have Happened a Long Time Ago

2008-08-07T11:12:00.002-04:00

I have started a year long walk through the Bible. I am making every attempt to hold myself acountable to actually reading. So I started a LiveJournal. You can read about what I am reading about here. I am really trying to get serious about reading my Bible. If you see that I haven't updated on a certain day, call me out on it.

Thank you Mr. McKendry!!!

2008-07-29T09:13:00.004-04:00

Jim D. Adkisson. This name should have significance to anyone that attends church. Do a google search on that name and you'll see why he is important. With a "new" trend towards contemporary church services, I fear that this will be an ever present threat in the world of faith. The reason that I volunteer at church is to prevent things like what happened in Colorado, and now Tennessee, from happening in Canton, GA. It saddens me that people think that they can pass their own judgement on the way that people do church. Let someone come into Revolution Church and start shooting and see if they walk out alive. If I, or a member of security, don't get to them, someone else will beat the brains out of them.

This hateful man was upset at the liberal views of the church. It seems to me that this may have been another church that was known for not following the norm. I believe that it backed the gay rights movement and has been a spot for refugees. Not everyone agrees with what the church has done, and certainly not everyone likes how the church does business, but no one should take the fate of another person into their own hands. Adkisson only fired 3 shots, however he was found with 76 shotgun shells.

There was a heroic man named Greg McKendry who stood up to Adkisson. McKendry took the full brunt of a shotgun blast to shield the other church goers. Who amongst us has the courage to do such a thing? McKendry is a hero in every sense of the word. If his is not awarded posthumously, then it would be an injustice. Thank you Mr. McKendry, for doing what had to be done.

A lesson in restraint. But for who?

2008-07-27T22:11:00.010-04:00

To night, I thought that it was time for my son to do to me, what I have done to him several times. I let him shave my head. He was delighted to say the least. The final outcome was what you would expect. Spots of hair missing, a couple of bleeding places, and a sore head. But I learned something from this experience. My son is no hairdresser. No, I learned that no matter how everyday you may see something, the same thing seen through the eyes of a child, is the biggest thing that happens that day.

Maybe all that we need to stop being bored, is a new perspective. Maybe that is the cure for what ails ya'. But then again, maybe I'm over thinking this maybe all my son wanted was to inflict some pain and retribution on his father. But judging from the last picture on this entry, I believe that for some reason, he just wanted a good laugh.

So why not let your child wield the clippers and give you a haircut for a change. Maybe the change in perspective will reverse the rolls and you will see your child as the hero.

Congrats!!!

2008-07-26T21:33:00.003-04:00

Just wanted to take some time out to congratulate Ricky Merrefield. That really makes me smile that he will be on staff at Revolution. So once again, Congrats Ricky. Maybe one day they'll ask me to work there too. Probably not, but maybe.

How it all began, or ended.

2008-07-21T21:47:00.003-04:00

Haven't blogged lately because I've been rediscovering and re-evaluating myself. I've come to realize that I am not the same person because, well, everything is different. I graduated from High School and set out to find my way. At the time, I was working at a coffee shop, enjoying my daily experiences with other people. One day, I wandered into a whole new world. I took a step that began my journey which led me to the endless rabbit hole of change. I fell so fast that the next thing I knew, I had a shaved head and large, intimidating men yelling at me every day. It was the hell on earth in the land that God forgot, Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island, SC. This is when the changes really started to happen. And when I lost my faith in God.

I was never really the most "religious" person, but I thought that I had seen Jesus for what he really was. I had a heavy burden to bear for 13 weeks, and I remembered a passage from the Bible that said, "Come to me all that labor and are tired, and I will give you rest." (Matt 11:28) That was it! Jesus had come to save me from this horrible place I was in. Even if for just a few hours a week.

I started attending what the Marine Corps called "religious services." I heard the bells of the church every Sunday morning, and I answered them with my attendance. Of all of my days there, only 7 verses stuck in my mind. Psalms 34:4, Psalms 20:1-9, Psalms 24: 4-5, Psalms 25:1-22, Proverbs 3: 13-18, Acts 12:6-7, and Revelations 6:1-8. I still know them because I highlighted them in my Bible that I brought with me to Boot Camp. At that time, despite all of my efforts, all I could think is that church as just another way for the Marine Corps to brainwash me. Only now, and I mean as I write this, do I realize that this was not the case.

Matthew 11:29-30 continue to say, "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you shall find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." I had never learned the rest of the verses. I didn't have full understanding of what the spirit of the words meant. I thought that Jesus was supposed to give me rest, but I didn't understand that I had to do something in return. I didn't know that there was an exchange involved. Going back and reading those passages that I mentioned, I see why I thought that these verses were spoken for my downfall. I did not have a full understanding at the time that I was to leave my burdens and pick up an easier load.

The years since I left the Marine Corps have been filled with times of happiness, and times of difficulty. I am starting to heal the wounds that I inflicted on my wife and other family during my 4 years of service. The saying, "Freedom isn't free" holds a new meaning in my life. I used to only apply it to living in the United States. It does apply to that, however it has a different meaning to me. Sometimes you have to pick up a different yoke when you lay your down. To be free of your burdens, you must take something in exchange.

I have regained my faith in God. I was taught by a man that I admire, that the only way to eternal life is through a relationship with Jesus Christ. I am building that realtionship every day. I see how God wants to use me and I welcome that with every breath that is in me. I'm still a little rough around the edges, but the polishing wheel of faith will eventually make me shine.

I never got the change to go to Iraq, I guess the Marine Corps didn't see fit to send me. I still have that Bible. I sent it to Iraq with another Marine. He swears that the Bible stayed in the bottom of his luggage, but when it was returned to me sand fell from the pages, and there is still some in the binding. Maybe God is trying to speak to me.

Just some thoughts on people

2008-07-10T10:12:00.003-04:00

I was thinking the other day about what it means to connect with others. I have several "buddies", you know, people that I have things in common with. But I have only a few honest to goodness "friends." I have a different type of relationship with every one of them as well. For instance, one is a friend who I can confide in and trust him with every little secret. Some others I can trust, just not as explicitly. But I must say, my absolutley best friend in the whole world, excluding my wife, is my brother Zipper.

I have been thinking about what makes us so close. I have 2 other brothers besides him, but they are brother type relationships. By that I mean that we talk, do things together, and have the same father. But Zip and I, we have a special bond. This bond has not always been there. It has only recently developed over the past 6 or 7 years. He has come to see me in a different light. We take an active part in each other's daily lives. He has also given me new insight on the doing of our mother.

For those of you who don't know, and that's probably everyone, my relationship with my mother is what you would consider, lacking. We talk about once a month, and it's mainly about my son. She lives in Upstate New York, which is where I was born. My brother told me that when I moved to Georgia, he was pretty much left at the house by himself. My mother moved in with her boyfriend and only visited the house on an occasional basis. So for about 3 years, my brother raised himself during the most vital years of his life. He moved to Georgia, and lived with my father and I in a 1 bedroom attic apartment until he could get his own place.

I am sure that the rest of the story will be told in a later blog, but the things that seem to make our relationship special, cannot be pinpointed. They are just random bits of life that accumulate into one big friendship. A friendship that I would not change for the world.

Honoring The Fallen

2008-07-06T13:33:00.004-04:00

This past weekend I visited a replica wall of the Vietnam wall in Washington, D.C. with my father. I knew that the trip would be a little emotional, but I figured my father would be the one wiping tears from his eyes. As it was, I could not even get to the first part of the wall without being overcome with emotion.

I watched my father walk next to that black marble and I could see that everything came rushing back to him. All of the nights that he spent in the jungle, wondering if he would make it back alive. All of his friends that didn't. I know that Dad had some names that he wanted to look up on the wall, but he never did. My guess is that he hasn't thought about those people in years, and he wanted to keep it that way. He never showed the first sign of grief. He knew what those people had fought and died for. Crying for them was not going to bring them back. I'm sure that he saw a name or two that he recognized, but he managed a slow walk from one side to the other, never stopping.

His name is not on that wall, but this war will get him yet. Agent Orange Disease has caused him several years of torment and will eventually kill him with his brain cancer. He knows that he is dying, and he also knows that there is nothing that anyone can do about it. God has chosen this end for him. He holds his head up, and takes his treatments.

My father truly is my hero.

Update on the Pop

2008-07-02T11:24:00.006-04:00

Well, about 3 weeks ago we were told that my father has brain cancer. He said that he didn't ask the doctor for a time span, so it is day to day. They said that the only treatment they can do is 1 round of chemo-therapy and that was it. I am currently working on getting a silver rose memorial placed in Canton at the gazebo. You can check out the memorial at http://www.silverrose.info/ Still not sure on what my next steps need to be to move this thing forward. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

Anyhow, my dad's pancreas stopped working and the doctors put him on insulin. Of course, the first night he took too much and basically poisoned himself. He spent another 3 days miserable and not able to get around. My brothers and I took him to Robbinsville, NC for a weekend at a nice cabin and on the lake. Turns out that dad was miserable most of the way there because of the horrendously long drive. But after we got there and relaxed for a while, it turned out to be the best thing that he had done in a while. It is a trip that will be long remembered.

Wow, I have been moved!!!

2008-07-01T19:23:00.002-04:00

I have found out the answer to my "Blah's" It is called Jesus. I have been immersing myself in the sermons of Greg Rohlinger and Steve Furtick. I have felt a deep conviction to do some soul searching. I have found that no matter what I tried, I could never conquer this thing that has ahold of me. I felt a conviction to tithe, courtesy of Pastor Gary Lamb. I started tithing and was immediatley relieved of my feelings. God is great.

What do you call this?

2008-04-16T21:31:00.003-04:00

Some people call it the "Blah's." Some people call it indifference. I don't really know how to describe what I feel. Empty, bored, unamused? I used to be a different person. Full of life and energy. Now I am tired at 9 o'clock, ready to turn in. I still get The "warm fuzzies" whenever my wife calls me or when my son hugs me. I am not emotionless, it just seems that sometimes I am an empty shell waiting to be filled. That just wasn't the case before my enlistment into the Marine Corps. I think that was a contributing factor, but not the cause. I am very content with my life as it is now. I have several things going for me. I love my wife, my son, and my family. I love my job and all of the things that I have done in the past. I don't know what's missing. Am I displeased with my life now? Do I crave something intangible? How do I know the answer if I don't know the question? Maybe when I hear the right question, I'll know how to answer it.

Trout as a hobby?

2008-04-13T23:07:00.002-04:00

This past weekend was very special for me. I had the opportunity to see family that lives in Tennessee (Vols suck!) and I got to fulfill a dream that I never knew I had. I went trout fishing in Cades Cove, which is in the Great Smokey Mountains National Park. That's right, fishin' in the Smokies. This was an experience that I cannot forget. I had the worst thing that could happen, happen to me. I actually caught a trout. It was about the size of your pointer finger. Small, but still exciting. I think that I have found the next big thing that I will immerse myself in.

It was so peaceful on the creek. I was fishing with a chartreuse trout magnet, a micro-cast rod, and a Zebco 11 reel. I stopped in to the Little River Outfitters in Townsend, TN and spoke to an employee named Bill. He set me up with a little bit of tackle and a little bit of knowledge. Thanks Bill. Anyways, even though you are in a national park you can still feel that all of the expectations of normal living has been washed away. The peaceful flow of Old Mill Creek and the darting trout make you want to never show your face in civilization again. There is a lot of family history (my wife's) that is tied into that Cove. My wife's grandfather, as well as a cousin, were in a television show called Christie, which was filmed there. It is such a trip back in time when you go there, but you can read more accurate details in wikipedia or somewhere else.

Our visit to Tennessee was bittersweet though. It was probably the last time that my wife will see her aunt. Her aunt is moving to Yellowstone National Park to work for the park service there. To Laurie and Tina, thank you for all of the memories that you have given my wife and I. I honestly send you off with my best wishing for an overwhelming success. To my wife, thank you for allowing me to fulfill a dream that I never knew I had.

Thinking about the way things used to be

2008-04-07T21:54:00.003-04:00

I heard a song on the radio today called "You're gonna miss this." The song is by Trace Adkins, who my wife is in love with, and is essentially about savoring what you have. One of the lyrics reads, "You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast." I was thinking about when my wife and I lived in a two bedroom apartment in Beaufort, SC.

The kitchen was so small that you couldn't open the refridgerator door all the way. Cooking with two people in there was impossible. The walls were cinderblock, or concrete blocks for all y'all southerners readin'. We couldn't hang anything on the walls. The floors had carpet that was laid on top of the concrete slab. If you dropped a bottle on the carpet, it would break. It was always too hot or too cold. Heating and air conditioning did nothing to the air in that place. It was in a bad neighborhood, where local lore said that there was a voodoo priestess who lived around the corner. Come to think of it, I never saw any animals in the yard, not even a squirrel, which is rare there. The rent was expensive and the utility bills were outrageous. We were barely making it on my military pay. Looking back now, I wouldn't have changed it for the world.

My wife and I learned so much about each other. She learned that I liked space, and I learned that she had a low tolerance for alcohol. We really grew closer together and discovered more about each other than we would have in a different setting. My wife picked out that apartment while I was still in K-9 school in San Antonio, TX. She packed up all of our belongings and moved to a strange town, in a strange state, and set up a "home" that I could come to. She did such a wonderful job of everything in my absence.

On a lighter note, I had a puppy when we lived there. I was getting ready for work one morning and plugged in my iron. I let the iron sit and was straightening the cord when, holy mother of god, I was zapped. That damn puppy had chewed through the plastic coating on the cord and I touched them. It was like getting bit by four headed dog. I chased the puppy under the couch and as he was wriggling under it, I spanked him one good time on his rump. He screamed so much that I thought I broke his tail. I felt bad for the rest of the day.

We are family. . .

2008-04-05T01:07:00.000-04:00

My father is one of the coolest people I know. He has been through so much in his life. At 64 years old, he is a Vietnam Veteran, a recovering alcoholic, and cancer survivor twice over. Colon cancer and diabetes equals Agent Orange Disease according to the Department of Veteran Affairs. He has kept a great attitude about everything that has happened to him. You would never know that he is missing 1/2 a lung and a 12" section of his colon. You would never know that he has suffered through dozens on chemo-therapy treatments and has a chemo injection port permanently attached to his chest.

He is always there when you need him and will continue to be there, even when you don't need him. He is always ready to go on a hunting or fishing trip, and always willing to play with his grandchildren. Always concerned with other, he is the last person he thinks of.

My father recently told me that he wanted to gather all of this children together and let them know how sorry he was for making our lives miserable. To him, all I can say is this:

Dad, I am the person I am today because of all of the things that I have been through. I am alive and well now because of the past. You don't need to tell us that you're sorry. We need to be telling you "Thank You!!!"

Of all the happy moments in my life, one of the happiest I can recall is my graduation day of Marine Corps boot camp. I found my family, looked my father in the eye, shook his hand, and cried like a baby. I could finally be seen by him more than just his son. He could look at me and see a brother in arms, a fellow comrade, a fellow warrior. Service members have a special bond that cannot be described. I think that is why I have such a good relationship with my father. He is more than my father, he is my brother.

Just a thought

2008-04-05T00:54:00.001-04:00

This is my first attempt at a real blog. I hope that everything turns out ok. You know, it's kinda funny how you think that some things will turn out fine, and then they just take a 180 turn and BAM!!! Everything that you though that you knew is found to be wrong. I thought that I knew a person who I worked very closely with. As it turns out, he was accused of being a liar and a thief. I counted on him to look out for me, and now it seems that I had misplaced my trust.